Allegory

Okay so I've been brewing up an allegorical trilogy idea in my muddled little brain.
Three books, entitled "Rebel," "Savior," and "Judgment."
I have Brittany Schmitt working on some coverart for me because she wanted to try it.

Here is a bit of what I wrote just to cement the idea in my mind. I'm not sure if it'll be intro for a sequel or what:

In the early days of the world, a King ruled the earth. He was benevolent, kind, and merciful. All races, Men, Dwarves, Halflings, and Giants all lived peacefully under his rule, no war, battle, or cruelty of any kind. The Elves served Him in his palace, nestled in the Mountains of the Sun. They were His messengers to the races of the world, and the keepers of the city Aeterna in which He lived. The King ruled his subjects with love and care, and all things loved him: the beasts of the fields, and even the earth itself responded to his voice, his touch, his presence. However, even in this perfect world, there was one corrupted soul. The King’s right-hand, an Elf named Lucian, rose up and stretched out his hand against his lord to take his throne. At first, he seemed to stand alone. Then he called his followers to him and a third of all the Elves in Aeterna joined him in his corrupted bid for power. The King stood in his tower and watched Lucian and his minions do battle with the Elves in his court. He wept over the pain and violence being unleashed in his world. When finally Lucian’s forces were driven to the edge of the mountain, the King himself rode out on his white steed and entered the ring of his protectors to speak with Lucian and give him one last chance to repent. They stood face to face, on the edge of a cliff in the Mountains of the Sun, the Elves of the King ready protect their lord, and Lucian’s remaining servants standing stiff behind him. Lucian spat at the King’s offer of pardon, and with tears coursing down his face, the King cast Lucian, his once-friend, off the edge of the cliff. However, the King could not bear to let Lucian die in his folly. He caused a cleft in the earth to open imprison the Rebel, in the hope that he might one day repent and return to the palace Aeterna. But repentance was not in Lucian’s plan. In the depths of the world, he and his Elves grew pale without the sun. Their skin turned clammy and translucent, and their anger against the King for sending them to this hell bloated, and putrefied. There also they found a deep-dwelling species of creature, a nameless burrower. They took it, and mutilated it, until they could breed it to be a servant to them, and to be an army to carry out their fell plans. Soon, Lucian took on a new name, Natas, Lord of Lies, King of Death, Master of Evil.

It sounds Really Promising!

I think I remember you telling me about a story you want to write, where the Elves were Angels and all the other races were just various sizes of man. It's good to see you fleshing it out.

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In the depths of the world, he and his Elves grew pale without the sun. Their skin turned clammy and translucent, and their anger against the King for sending them to this hell bloated, and putrefied.

Dark Elves?

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Here is a bit of what I wrote just to cement the idea in my mind. I'm not sure if it'll be intro for a sequel or what:

You could do what Galedor did and include that as the prologue and at chapter one find out that a character was telling it as a story. Just a thought.

Definitely Dark Elves. and the "nameless burrower" becomes bred into orcs.

Cool! I love a good Elven Split

A couple pieces of advice, (That you probably already know )

1: Give the King a name.

2: Just my opinion, but I think you should change Lucian's name. There are already two books (The Kingdom Series and This Present Darkness) that both feature the name Lucius, and while Lucian is a little different, it's still to close to the original. (Just my personal thoughts. I will be fine if you leave it be.)

And here are some questions that will hopefully help flesh the idea out more. (And if they don't, they will at least help me to see it better )

Would the orcs be LOTR orcs (The same as goblins) or Age of Wonders orcs?

What point of view will this story be? Will it be from elven perspective of from the Human eyes? Just wondering.

Do you have a Story goal?

If this is an a allegory what time periods will each book encompass? ie "Rebel" is before the flood, "Savior" recounts the story of Jesus, and "Judgment" is about the end of the world and the rejuvenation of the world)

1. Yes, that's on the list, I just haven't found a name I like for the King... It's gotta be the best name I've ever come up with, otherwise it just wouldn't work for THE King

2. I want it to be a very direct allegory, so I'm gonna stick with Lucian... Did you notice that Natas is actually Satan backwards? Har har har... I thought it still fit as an evil lord's name though. I'm also naming some of the Dark Elves in latin and greek, Nekros, Metus, Delor, and Orui. Death, Fear, Pain, and Rage.
Likewise the Elves of the King will have meaningful names.

Not sure yet, I may not have Goblins, or maybe I will, I'm not sure.

The book Rebel will be from the Elves perspective, because most of the action will take place in Aeterna. That'll be the book that details what I summarized above. Savior will be mostly from the Human perspective, and Judgement will probably be a mixture of all of them.

Story goal? Remember, I haven't done your epic 1 year adventure thingy, so if that's a term from that, I don't know what you'ze talkin' 'bout.

Exactly:
Rebel is before the creation of earth, (roughly... I'm not sure exactly when humans will be seeded on my 'earth' yet) but it will detail the war in Heaven before Satan is cast out and it'll probably end with a major cliff hanger with the Fall.
Savior is basically everything from the Fall to Revelation.
Judgement is the final war, so Revelationish.

Cool! Cool! and Cool!

Lucian Is fine, Just wanted to throw that out I did not notice Natas' name. Cool!

Sorry! The Story Goal is basically the main objective of the novel. The SG for LOTR is destroying the One Ring. The SG for Star wars 4 is destroying the Death Star and So on. It's the number one thing you should want to happen.

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but it will detail the war in Heaven before Satan is cast out and it'll probably end with a major cliff hanger with the Fall.

You've got some HUGE potential there.

Well basically the goal is to destroy Natas, because it's an allegory... I don't think it'll be one of the classic "quest" type fantasies.

Hey, You got your Avatar. how did you do it?


I like how you plan to change points of view. That would make it pretty epic!

The button to click is the same color as the background... I just stumbled upon it with my mouse and it lit up

Why thank ye! Yeah I never entirely liked books that only had the viewpoint centered on one person... You just can't develop everyone else as well.

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The button to click is the same color as the background...

Yea...Sorry about that. The color of those words, have to be the same as these words, I may just change the background color, so you can see more of my stunning Forum!

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Why thank ye! Yeah I never entirely liked books that only had the viewpoint centered on one person... You just can't develop everyone else as well.

Unfortunately That's what the One Year Adventure Novel does. they recommend that you write in First-Person. And it is harder to develop anyone else.

If I write a first-person story, I still would switch the view around to different people. Like every chapter I'd specify who's eyes it was from.

Yea, I've seen that done, Book one was from One persons point of view, but then book two switched to his friend's PoV. It was a little weird at first, (Mainly because he was blind ) But after a while, I got used to it and really enjoyed it!

What book was that?

Ok, so I might as well jump in on this conversation while have the chance, before you guys make this whole conversation to long to keep track of.
To start, I love the idea. That is nice new touch to have an underground empire of dark elves.
The main plot seems a little worn out. I have read so many books where the plot starts out. There is a king and a lord and the lord rebels and the king is pushed to the point where he has to cast out the lord. Obviously it is a allegory of God and Satan. That is why it is used so much. the thing is. It has almost become a worn out plot.
Now that is not to say that the idea is failed. as I said before I like the twist of the dark elves. jus one question. What will you be doing to make this story unique. I think that it has potential, but it needs its own personal unique twists.

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What book was that?

The Song Of Albion Series, Pretty good, though I don't reccomend it. It had some content.

Elric wrote:

What will you be doing to make this story unique. I think that it has potential, but it needs its own personal unique twists.

Not sure yet, I'm still laying lots of groundwork, but I'm going to keep it in my Gobliny brain for the moment.

OK, I look forward to new developements.