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 Savior, War for Aeterna, Book 2

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Azog
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Posts : 106
Join date : 2011-03-28
Location : Moria

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Name: Kell
Race: Korrallthian
Job/Class: Scout Tracker

PostSubject: Savior, War for Aeterna, Book 2   Thu May 12, 2011 5:21 pm

this is the beginning of the second book in my allegory

Deep within the bowels of the earth, far from the reaches of any light, there festered a dark power, full of rage and malice. Natas, Lord of Lies began the mobilzation of his armies against, Theotas the Golden King of the world of Light. He had planned this moment for hundreds of years, building up his forces, and sending out his spies into the world of Men. It was now time to rise from the depths and wage war upon these accursed creations the King had made. The world of men flourished above ground, and they brought much joy to the King. Now, after all this time, it was the moment to destroy them.
“We will move on the cities Aculus, Orat, and Aurem immediately. Set up our fortresses there, for I deem the people in those lands will accept my rule against The Enemy.” natas rendered his orders into the lightless chamber he ruled his kingdom of abominations from without looking to confirm the presence of his minion.
A sound like a sigh accompanied the movement of the servent who had been listening to his master. Even in a place without light, Natas could make out the glimmer of pale skin that characterized all in the lower realms as the dark elf he had spoken to passed in front of him and out of the chamber to carry out his wishes.
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PhoenixFire
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Location : Stuck In The Horrifing World Of His Own Mind

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Name: Talrith Storm-Sword
Race: Matorin
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PostSubject: Re: Savior, War for Aeterna, Book 2   Mon May 16, 2011 4:32 pm

I like it!

A quick comment though:
Quote :
and sending out his spies into the world of Men
does this include the domain of Giants, Dwarves, and other human creatures (For, last I remembered you were planning to include those races as a diverging path of humankind.) If so, you may want to change the above line. Maybe the world of the Mortals, If you plan on following in the mold of Tolkien’s elves, (which would make them even more like Angels and Demons, Respectively)

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And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision...For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:2-3
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Azog
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Posts : 106
Join date : 2011-03-28
Location : Moria

Character sheet
Name: Kell
Race: Korrallthian
Job/Class: Scout Tracker

PostSubject: Re: Savior, War for Aeterna, Book 2   Sun May 22, 2011 7:23 pm

That sounds good! I hadn't thought about that before.
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